Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:20:35 2025 UTC
No amount of lubricant can help bad cradit up the ass
-- h.r.taffs
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
| Out | In |
|---|---|
| Boethius | Foucault |
| Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
| Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
| MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
| Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
| Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
| Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
| R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
| American Spirits | Natural Blend |
| dot-coms | shit disturbers |
| juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
| Draconians | Yeeks |
| cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
| distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
| The Web | Freenet |
| biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
| Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
| MDMA | MDA |
| slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
| Ibiza | quilting |
| Drum and bass | swing dancing |
| Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
| keffiya | razor wire |
| Raquel Darrian | Devon |
| having babies | cloning |
| Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
| "Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
| data havens | monoliths |
| hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
| benzine | the right-hand rule |
| XML | Esperanto |
| JSP | LAML |
| sarcasm | harm reduction |
| corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
| .biz | AnarchyNIC |
| Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
| The 70s | betel nut |
| "Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
| home fries | fruit cup |
| Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
| new restaurants | Original Joe's |
| sorghum | quinoa |
| scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
| weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
| peer-to-peer | underground |
| Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
