Build Date: Sun Nov 24 14:10:20 2024 UTC
Well, sorry. I guess we can't ALL be super cool Russian forth hacker/extropian/pretend scientists like you.
-- Ratsnatcher
The Stuff I Am Bringing to Burning Man '99
1999-08-22 00:12:05
First time out it's a list; so what? Just read the thing.
I've been busy overpreparing for Burning Man. Here's all the dumb crap I have accumulated so far that goes into the big dumb "Smuggler" pullman suitcase that then goes into the big dumb Frontier Airlines plane next week:
- (1) Labcoat, white, Spock Mountain Research Labs logo, nametag: "Tjames".
- (1) Labcoat, white, no logo.
- (4) T-shirts bought at Target off the clearance rack (good stuff! no logos!).
- (3) Pairs of various short pants. I say "short pants" because it's funny and I like it.
- (1) Pair chinos. See above for why I say "chinos".
- (4) Pair plaid boxer shorts! Yay!
- (5) Pairs of socks.
- (1) Barn coat type of deal in case it ever gets cold.
- (1) Pair Utility (Target!) brand pseudo-steeltoe boots. These cost me $8.
- (1) Pair white deck shoes.
- (1) Pair Utility brand rubber sandals.
- (1) Pair pajama shoes for the leisure stylee.
- (1) Pair yeller tinted sunglasses.
- (1) Pair clip-on dark sunglasses that go over my reg'lar glasses so's I can see.
- (1) Pair safety goggles.
- (1) Fisherman's hat.
- (1) Dome tent, it's about 7' wide.
- (1) Rain poncho.
- (1) Utility flashlight.
- (16) AA batteries.
- (8) C batteries.
- (1) Portable CD player.
- (12) Various music CDs.
- (1) Tape to give to Mr. Bad of Fallmusic.
- (1) "Little Snatcher" Action Figure!
- (1) Meerschaum (corncob) pipe.
- (1) Pouch of cheap tobacco for pipe.
- (1) Personal fan, Holmes Air brand.
- (10) Disposable vinyl gloves, white, surgical type.
- (1) 6' x 8' faux fishin' net.
- (1) Campin' coffee mug.
- (1) Desert canteen.
- (2) Tubes of lip balm with sunblock in them.
- (1) Star Track Personal Communicator.
- (2) Sets personal battery powered Xmas lights.
- (2) Battery powered candles.
- (1) Millenium Laser Light Show Yo-Yo.
- (2) Cartons Natural American Spirit Cigarettes.
- (1) Empty candy tin for where to put the ashes of those things.
- (1) Bottle of Ibuprofen.
- (1) Bottle of Metabolift.
- (1) Bottle of trucker speed.
- (1) Bottle of Super B Complex vitamins to fight hangovers.
- (1) Zippo lighter.
- (4) Rolls of Kodak Gold 200 film.
- (1) Camera.
- (2) Tubes of Tom's Toothpaste, trial size.
- (1) Trial-size bottle of Aussie Mega Shampoo.
- (1) Battery-powered shaver.
- (1) Super Jesus Power Crucifix Penknife.
- (1) Coleman Camping Tool/Fake Leatherman
- (1) Apron for Snatcher to wear while cookin' up eats.
Well, I'm probably forgetting some stuff. But this is what
I've got so far.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
