Build Date: Sun Mar 9 14:20:14 2025 UTC
Your persona is the crime, and your life appears to be the punishment.
-- Lionheart
Esperanto for Bad Swingers of the Future
2000-11-01 12:09:06
But of course! Esperanto is useful for so many purposes, it's time to use it for picking up fraulinoj, my friend.
As is often pointed out, Esperanto is the language of the future for Bad People everywhere. The more diabolical among you have already taken steps towards mastering this great language. Some of you have not been so quick on the uptake. Perhaps it's because of the lack of immediately useful phrases. Sure, you can ask for the nearest toilet in an Esperantejo with Travlang, but what about the useful stuff? Look no further, friends.
How to speak Esperanto like a restless native will give you a good foundation for your future learning, and more importantly your confidence. No longer will you have to fumble around with your English to Esperanto dictionary when you're talking to a belulinoj (attractive woman). By memorising just a few key phrases like "Mi estas festema ulo." and "Mi ne plu estas infektita.", your dream esperantist date will be putty in your hands.
For the odd Klingon or Finn you run into, this site has just as useful phrase pages.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
