Build Date: Thu Nov 21 13:00:14 2024 UTC
Oh, oh, oh, the despair. Will I ever be kewl in Master Squid's eyes!
-- Patient Joab
Let GNU Privacy Guard Cover Your Ass
1999-08-12 10:40:36
d00d, you HAVE to get GPG! The Age of Encryption is here! If you don't get some GPG, your VIRTUAL ASS will be hanging out in the WIND!
OK, so, here's Mr. Bad's 200 word take on encryption in general and GPG in particular: it is time for you to PANIC! All kinds of data you have, like email and files and shit like that, are FLYING through the AETHER or lying around on SOMEONE ELSE'S MACHINE! ISPs and employers are NOTORIOUS for going into your files and mail at RANDOM TIMES, just to check up on you! Like those bad things you said about drugs and guns, THEY'RE LOOKING AT THAT RIGHT NOW!
And they turn over for the COPS like THAT! Imagine I just snapped my fingers, because that's how fast they turn over! In the snap of a finger! Oh, and if the cops have a warrant, they can SEIZE YOUR COMPUTER and just go fishing around on your hard drive until they find something INCRIMINATING. FUCK!
The essence of this is that YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. You may already be highly SCREWED.
Now, people like the EFF tell you to temper your speech and consider all the stuff you put on the Internet as public. But what kind of BULLSHIT is that? Fuck that! I don't want to temper myself, and I don't want to get screwed by bad authority figures and wimpy buttboy ISPs. THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA have some ENCRYPTION.
Encryption = fussing up your files and email so only the people who are supposed to be able to read them can read them. You get a program for encrypting shit, and then you encrypt it, and it looks like gibberish. Then you send the gibberish to someone, and they unencrypt it, and then they can see the shit, and COOL. Encryption is GOOD JUJU.
The technology has been around for a while, but very bad people like the FBI and the NSA and the RSA folks have been keeping people from getting good encryption technology through crazy-ass things like export control and patent suits and so forth. And the best crypto package, PGP, has been bought by a weirdo company, who's way in bed with the Feds, and they're pretty screwy in a lot of ways, and the software's proprietary, and the source is hard to get, and just fuck it.
But no MORE! Now there's a very cool crypto program, GnuPG, that's FREE SOFTWARE, meaning that you get the SOURCE CODE and the compiled program, and you can give it to WHOEVER YOU WANT. And it doesn't cost nothing. GPG is REALLY BITCHEN. I highly recommend that you check it out TODAY!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
