Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:30:35 2025 UTC
I'm attacking you because it's FUN, dumbshit!
-- Tjames Madison
Webzine 98 Blah blah gar gar gar!
1998-11-11 15:23:00
OK, so, Cool Event of the Week is the Webzine 98 thingy. I'd think it was a horrible blech gar-gar-gar-fest, except the exceptional people at Unamerican Activities are sponsoring it. And they are so cool it makes my neck sweat.
I think it could be fun. We're gonna go. Someone I was talking to said she went to this last year and had acid-laced "Peeps" (Yeah, the little marshmallow Easter chickens). Personally, I think that's reason enough to go. I mean, dosed "Peeps"! That's _EVIL_!
But I also think it would be great publicity if the Pigdog crew got in a huge drunken fistfight with some group wimpier yet more famous than us. Like, say, Suck. I mean, there are 70s punk bands whose sole claim to fame is that they kicked the ass of the Clash outside some slimey London club.
Ratsnatcher thinks we should keel-haul Michael Kinsley from "Slate" behind a pickup truck, but something tells me he's not gonna be there. I don't like fighting, anyways. Maybe I can buy the Suck people some drinks and they'll agree to stage a fight and take a dive.
Anyways, I'm still holding out hopes that this is going to be real grassroots zine thingy and not a wannabe hipster corp-o-fest. But, I say, check it out.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
