Build Date: Fri Mar 7 03:10:27 2025 UTC
You can't drink in parks around here; so I don't even know how to get to the parks. They might be nice, but I'll never know.
-- S. Dallas, Esq.
Waking the Dead
1999-02-01 03:32:00
I love it when the media makes some big deal over "new scientific proof!" of something really obvious like "Poor People Receive Inferior Health Care, Study Says" or "Taking 5,000 Vitamins at Once is Bad, Says Noted Expert." Well, here's another one: alarm clocks are hazardous to your health.
This week there's finally proof that alarm clocks are dangerous, and in some cases, deadly. Scientists have document a case where a 22-year-old man went into cardiac arrect after his alarm went off. I know that my alarm going off at 8:00 AM has almost done me in on a number of occasions, and I'm surprised there aren't warning labels on the damn things. Really, there-outta-be-a-law! Your child could be next! It's moving from the city to quiet neighborhoods JUST LIKE YOURS!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
