Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:20:32 2025 UTC
I live in a tiny, mysterious third-world country that is very far away and filled with meat golems. It is called 'Colorado'.
-- Tjames Madison
Ninjas: The Ultimate DEADLY THING
2002-01-18 12:30:09
Top five things that make me fear and exult: 5) Amyl nitrate. 4) Car crashes. 3) Courtroom showdowns. 2) Sex in public. 1) the REAL ULTIMATE POWER of a full-on NINJA ATTACK. Suweet!
OK, so, I don't have a lot to say about this site, but I didn't want to make a teeny- weeny little short-link quicky link, because I know that most Pigdog Journal readers don't take them seriously enough. I mean, fuck, we've got the entire functionality of memepool.com right down at the bottom of our index page, EVERY DAY updated with new and interesting links, and nobody ever looks at them and/or reads them. It's SAD and DEPRESSING.
So I guess I've totally veered off the NINJA ISSUE into decrying the sad state of affairs with Pigdog Journal readers. Read the Quickies, you ass-munching losers! Don't get distracted by the flashy pictures and clever layout options at the top of the page! Think for yourself! DON'T click that picture just because it has a FOYN piece of ASS on it. DON'T LET JAKOB NIELSON be right! Style doesn't matter for shit.
OK, uh, I guess I should start rounding this article out with some conclusiatory statements of comically overstated exhortation. Which would probably require reining in this unhelpful need for woolgathering self-reference and swinging the discussion back around to the TOPIC at HAND, namely: NINJAS. With that in mind, I ask you to DIG THIS -- ninjas fucking rock, and they are funny, and you should go read about them. And that's about all I have to say. Onward, Pigdog hordes!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
