Build Date: Thu Feb 26 06:50:07 2026 UTC
when i was froo-froo in the noggin, i used to hear from people in Nirvananet and i thought they were dead and i was talking with ghosts or angels. i just read about nirvananet on the web and it all seems quite different.
-- Sylvia
Jethro Bodine is Shithouse Crazy
2000-01-20 20:15:20
Dear holy FUCKANAUTS! Max Baer, the big lughead who played JETHRO BODINE in the hit series "Beverly Hillbillies" is building him a GIGANTIC CASINO in the sick, bitter little dessicated city of Reno, Nevada. It's gonna be TOTALLY SIDEWAYS! With BLACKJACK and HILLBILLIES! Gah!
Everybody's heard about this screwball plan, but have you seen the Web site?! I have! It's nutty! It's the SINGLE WORST WEBSITE I've ever seen for a commercial venture. There's really bad clip art and Shockwave and just mindbendingly bad graphics everywhere. It's HORRIBLE. It looks like it was made by a GRIEVOUSLY INJURED RACCOON, and not a very bright one at that.
Which kinda fits hand-in-glove with the whole "Jethro's Casino" idea, anyways. Apparently Mr. Baer bought up all the merchandising rights to the Beverly Hillbillies name after the show went rightfully kaput in 1971. JUST LIKE his big dumb lughead character, Baer has been lugheadedly PLOTTING and SCHEMING for years to do something totally OVER THE TOP and INSANE. And it WORKED. He's gonna make a CASINO.
The Reno City Council has approved construction, which just goes to show what kind of geniuses they put on the council in Reno. They're going to put the thing in the middle of downtown Reno! Har! It should be in some gully somewhere, out of sight, but it'll take up most of downtown!
This Web site doesn't say if the construction is started or not, which could be because it's the WORLD'S SHITTIEST WEBSITE or it could be because this is the most fuckheaded idea ever to exist and nobody in their right mind would invest dollar one in it. I dunno.
But anyway, when (if) it IS built, this will be the most SIDEWAYS casino ever. I assure you of this! I've been to some pretty creepy and unpleasant casinos, and I assure you that Jethro's Casino will top them all. There will be a bakery called "Elly Mae's Buns"! There will be a GIGANTIC OIL WELL on FIRE out front! There will be a big-ass Beverly-Hills-style MANSION with critters and bucktoothed bellboys and the like. Crosseyed pit bosses! Showgirls in Dr. Denton's with the back flap open! A WHITE LIGHTNING bar! Dear LORD, this is going to be a horrible place.
Even though recent reports seem to indicate that the Jethro Casino is kind of struggling, I have faith in the bizarre, fucked-up Max Baer to make his dream come true. Hillbillies! Casino! Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
