Build Date: Wed Oct 21 20:01:02 2026 UTC
My Sunday bartender has a full beautiful beard and a lovely singing voice, but he's shit for conversation.
-- Arkuat
Jethro Bodine is Shithouse Crazy
2000-01-20 20:15:20
Dear holy FUCKANAUTS! Max Baer, the big lughead who played JETHRO BODINE in the hit series "Beverly Hillbillies" is building him a GIGANTIC CASINO in the sick, bitter little dessicated city of Reno, Nevada. It's gonna be TOTALLY SIDEWAYS! With BLACKJACK and HILLBILLIES! Gah!
Everybody's heard about this screwball plan, but have you seen the Web site?! I have! It's nutty! It's the SINGLE WORST WEBSITE I've ever seen for a commercial venture. There's really bad clip art and Shockwave and just mindbendingly bad graphics everywhere. It's HORRIBLE. It looks like it was made by a GRIEVOUSLY INJURED RACCOON, and not a very bright one at that.
Which kinda fits hand-in-glove with the whole "Jethro's Casino" idea, anyways. Apparently Mr. Baer bought up all the merchandising rights to the Beverly Hillbillies name after the show went rightfully kaput in 1971. JUST LIKE his big dumb lughead character, Baer has been lugheadedly PLOTTING and SCHEMING for years to do something totally OVER THE TOP and INSANE. And it WORKED. He's gonna make a CASINO.
The Reno City Council has approved construction, which just goes to show what kind of geniuses they put on the council in Reno. They're going to put the thing in the middle of downtown Reno! Har! It should be in some gully somewhere, out of sight, but it'll take up most of downtown!
This Web site doesn't say if the construction is started or not, which could be because it's the WORLD'S SHITTIEST WEBSITE or it could be because this is the most fuckheaded idea ever to exist and nobody in their right mind would invest dollar one in it. I dunno.
But anyway, when (if) it IS built, this will be the most SIDEWAYS casino ever. I assure you of this! I've been to some pretty creepy and unpleasant casinos, and I assure you that Jethro's Casino will top them all. There will be a bakery called "Elly Mae's Buns"! There will be a GIGANTIC OIL WELL on FIRE out front! There will be a big-ass Beverly-Hills-style MANSION with critters and bucktoothed bellboys and the like. Crosseyed pit bosses! Showgirls in Dr. Denton's with the back flap open! A WHITE LIGHTNING bar! Dear LORD, this is going to be a horrible place.
Even though recent reports seem to indicate that the Jethro Casino is kind of struggling, I have faith in the bizarre, fucked-up Max Baer to make his dream come true. Hillbillies! Casino! Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
