Build Date: Wed Oct 15 08:10:06 2025 UTC
There must be better things I can spend my time doing...like rampantly masturbating or something.
-- Paul Vortex
Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
1999-09-28 03:26:48
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...
Pigdog exploded. See, we went to the evil Burning Man festival (for a whole week) last month, where we burned out our insides with playa dust and skut liquor. We built a deranged hillbilly shack, put on overalls, and ran around acting like big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbillies! But not just any hillbillies, SCIENTIST HILLBILLIES. See. Because that's what they have in the future. The future of America is hillbillies with SCIENCE.
We whipped up big batches of our special HyperWhiskey(tm) poison, and SmartChaw(tm) chewin' tobacco, and told people who walked by our shack to imbibe and chomp. And they did! And so did we!!
We do this every year for some reason, which neither I, nor anyone else, has successfully been able to explain. So I'm not going to even try.
The important thing to note, however, is that the hangover lasts a SOLID MONTH -- in which time, we cannot do any writing whatsoever. This has been the case in the past, and it is proving to be so this year as well.
HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! If you believe that I got me a mule to sell you on the bridge that is in Brooklyn for which the Eskimos with refrigerators have no name. Harr!!!
Why not look at this nice photo gallery (courtesy Wendolonia) of our trip to Burning Man this year?
Alright den.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)