Build Date: Thu Nov 21 12:00:21 2024 UTC
Rule 1: The world is not fair.
Rule 2: The world does not care.
-- Negative Nancy
Now in new 'impish' flavor!
2001-11-14 04:44:52
Man! Time flies when you're a big drunk! Feels like I just got over last years Beaujolais Nouveau hangover. A full 24 hours before the official start of Beaujolais Nouveau, Pigdog Journal brings you a sneak-peak, behind-the-scenes exclusive preview of what the critics are saying about this years Beaujolais Nouveau:
- Vermilion and nothing but vermilion and what a shine! -raves François Huwart.
- Candid and forthright like a signature! - proclaimed Sergio Marchi.
- Delightful notes of small, fleshy summer fruit with a good length! - weezed Jean-Pierre Chevènement.
- The attack is supple, the follow-up rough and penetrating, left a wonderfull afterglow - sighed Jean-Marie Luc Piere Louis.
- Approached me directly, yet at an angle, like a guy in a zoot suit! - s'est exclamé Arnaud Montebourg.
- Goes down easy, like a good Essex girl. - a répondu Gaëtan Gorce
- Has a perkey nub and a fleshy bottom-- oh, wait, you mean the wine? - a dit Jean-Louis Debré
- Fuck! I don't drink no crap ass Frog-juice! Get the fuck outta my face mofo! - intoned Tyrone Buck.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
