Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:50:35 2025 UTC
A rich person once sent me some porn, as a kind of thank you. Lemme tell you, rich people's porn is different from the porn the rest of us get.
-- Patient Joab
Lucas isn't God
1999-01-11 15:01:00
...declares CNN movie reviewer Paul Tartara in a scathing OP-Ed in which he states that the Star Wars zealots have no right to bitch that now non-deity Lucas is going only make six of the planned nine movies in the series. The article is sure to inflame the wrath of the Faithful Followers of Han and Luke and Leia, already reeling from the news that the series is now half over.
When Noted Pigdog Editor and Star Wars aficionado, Mr. Bad, was asked to comment on Tartara piece after reading it, he was quoted as saying "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH". Later, Mr. Bad was found curled up in a fetal position sucking his thumb in the back corner of the Pigdog Publishing House and Y2K Survival Bunker mumbling "I can't believe it. I just can't believe Threepio and Artoo are gay and that Leia turns into an alcoholic" completely ignoring the fact the Carrie Fisher has done time at the Betty Ford Clinic for Well-heeled Overindulgers and the Threepio and Artoo are really nothing more the smallish actors inside of metal costumes.
Anyway, you can read the piece for yourself and see where Tartara completely oversteps the bounds of journalistic good tastes when he praises movies such as Tucker and then writes "(Threepio and Artoo) reappear briefly in Episode VIII: 'Not Much Happening,' during which Artoo has a torrid affair with a vacuum cleaner played by Delta Burke."
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
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The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
