Build Date: Thu Nov 21 11:50:15 2024 UTC
The sun is my enemy. It must be extinguished.
-- Flesh
Everyone's a Critic
2000-01-21 18:50:59
Two filmmakers in their mid-twenties have been arrested for filming a horror spoof of the Columbine High School shootings. The Ringwood, N.J. men where busted 5 months after using real, but legally obtained and unloaded, guns in when they shot their film Duck! The Carbine High Massacre on the grounds of E.G. Hewitt School during last summer vacation.
The horror spoof had been selling well from their web FNORD site when local police where contacted by a TV station that had come across the video while doing a story on GASP! "inappropriate" web FNORD sites.
Apparently unaware of the concept of a spoof, FBI behavioral science experts where called in to determine if Carbine High was a preview of an impending massacre!
"Although everything in the movie is in poor taste and repulsive, the only crime was possession of weapons on school property," Detective Sgt. Bernard Lombardo is quoted as saying.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
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On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
