Build Date: Tue Dec 3 17:10:20 2024 UTC
I hate Feinstein, okay? And I don't vote with my cunt.
-- Siduri
I Sure Was Dumb
2001-12-14 21:59:32
I never really believed things could get this bad.
I still don't really understand it. I don't understand how the American governmentdemocratically elected! system of checks and balances! land of the free!can say things like "Now we are going to have mass secret detentions based on ethnicity, and now we are going to start using torture as a means of interrogation, and now we are going to try our suspects in military tribunals rather than courts of law," with a straight face, and it's not a joke or anything, and people let it happen. I'm letting it happen. I don't think I can make it stop.
I think I'm a bright person. I vote. I write letters to Congress. I exercise my right to peaceful assembly. You know what? All of that is horse puckey. It's utterly meaningless.
When I was a little kid I watched the cartoons about How A Bill Becomes Law, and I loved that shit. It was so cool, the system of checks and balanceshow the whole government was carefully set up so that nobody could ever seize power, and every new law was carefully tested by lots of smart people, and there were funny songs too. I felt so happy to be free. I really trusted our government; I thought it was swell.
I used to read about things like segregation or the Japanese internment camps and I'd think to myself, "Wow, things were really bad back then. I'm glad we've learned from our national shame, and I'm glad that kind of thing could never happen now. I certainly wouldn't let it."
Right now I want to grab the little girl that was me and shake her hard, and yell in her face YOU DUMB SHIT, nothing you do will ever make a real difference, GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD NOW.
Letter-writing and voting and demonstrations are baby rattles. They are things we get to play with to keep us distracted and content. As individuals, we have no real power and no lasting rights. We may be allowed to dissent, but this is an indulgence, not a right that we could enforce or defend.
The minute that real power is at stakethat is, the minute that our government perceives a credible threat to itselfall these so-called "rights", these so-called "principles" like non-discrimination and presumption of innocence, well, they all go away real quick. This is how it's always been and nothing has changed. Sure, when things settle down, the pendulum will swing back and people will say to themselves "secret mass detentions, how awful, I'm glad nothing like that could ever happen now."
But I won't. I'll remember. What I have isn't power; what you have isn't rights.
Democracy is a fucking illusion.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)