Build Date: Mon Oct 27 03:20:07 2025 UTC
PS: Don't let him freeze your head while you're still alive.
-- Snatcher
Naked Man Strapped to SUV
2000-03-03 12:05:02
A 350-pound man is tied, naked and spread-eagled, to the roof of a Ford Explorer.
It's just another commute in North Carolina.
The public nudity was intended to protest the price of gasoline. The protesters' destination was the state capitol, but "the driver got lost," the Raleigh News & Observer reported. Mothers driving children to school phoned 911, and the naked man "sent police scrambling to restore order."
The driver was charged by police with "aiding and abetting indecent exposure." And the big guy strapped to the car? John "Big Flash" Hartnett was charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and "violating a city ordinance against riding on a car roof," Police Captain D.S. Overman told the Raleigh News & Observer. "Everybody's upset about higher gas prices," he observed, "but there's a better way to handle it."
But shed no tears; life goes on for these brave North Carolineans. Facing criminals charges, the radio station staffers organizing the event moved on, promoting an enchanting evening at their "Second Chance Prom" with Rick Springfield. Tickets are $40 per person plus a service charge.
This story sends many messages -- about public nudity, North Carolina, and the people who drive SUVs. And, come to think of it, about stupid radio stations. But one hundred years from now, people will shake their heads in wonder at a time when fat men couldn't ride through the streets of their own town, strapped naked to the roof of an SUV, without facing criminal charges. I think this should be an issue in the next Presidential campaign.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
