Build Date: Fri May 23 06:31:35 2025 UTC
If you don't
have political opinions, I will personally break down your door and
curbstomp you.
-- Miles Standish
Naked Man Strapped to SUV
2000-03-03 12:05:02
A 350-pound man is tied, naked and spread-eagled, to the roof of a Ford Explorer.
It's just another commute in North Carolina.
The public nudity was intended to protest the price of gasoline. The protesters' destination was the state capitol, but "the driver got lost," the Raleigh News & Observer reported. Mothers driving children to school phoned 911, and the naked man "sent police scrambling to restore order."
The driver was charged by police with "aiding and abetting indecent exposure." And the big guy strapped to the car? John "Big Flash" Hartnett was charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and "violating a city ordinance against riding on a car roof," Police Captain D.S. Overman told the Raleigh News & Observer. "Everybody's upset about higher gas prices," he observed, "but there's a better way to handle it."
But shed no tears; life goes on for these brave North Carolineans. Facing criminals charges, the radio station staffers organizing the event moved on, promoting an enchanting evening at their "Second Chance Prom" with Rick Springfield. Tickets are $40 per person plus a service charge.
This story sends many messages -- about public nudity, North Carolina, and the people who drive SUVs. And, come to think of it, about stupid radio stations. But one hundred years from now, people will shake their heads in wonder at a time when fat men couldn't ride through the streets of their own town, strapped naked to the roof of an SUV, without facing criminal charges. I think this should be an issue in the next Presidential campaign.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
