Build Date: Thu Jan 30 06:00:46 2025 UTC
Did you know I did a google search the other day for 'alcoholic programmers' and nothing came back??? Who are they trying to kid?
-- Mr. Bad
These Boots are Made for Marching
2003-01-17 12:32:30
As the Bush Administration continues to bang the drums of war while moving hundreds of thousand of troops to the Middle East, millions of Americans are questioning why. Why are we going to war with Iraq? Is it because of oil? Is it because of terrorism? Is it because of weapons of mass destruction? Is it because Saddam is an evil-doer? Does he smell bad? Is it because he embarrassed the Bush the First? Just what’s the beef, dude?
Well, you’re not alone in questioning just what in the hell is going on. The current American junta seems to be having a great deal of trouble finding a reason that the rest of the world will accept for invading Iraq, and they are waffling between excuses looking for some way to roll the tanks.
While Shrub and Company meet with their spinmasters trying to manufacture public approval to assault Iraq, people opposed to action without reason are beginning to mobilize. Tomorrow (Jan 18th) protests against the pending war are being staged in numerous cities across the US and around the world.
As for me, until ShrubCo can make a clear and convincing argument as to why the only valid option left is war, I’m opposed to any invasion of Iraq. I doubt that ShrubCo gives a rat’s ass as to what I think or what will happen on the Streets of San Francisco tomorrow. In fact, I suspect that the President would like to invade and subdue Herb Caen’s Baghdad by the Bay right after he nukes the original in Iraq.
Unfortunately for ShrubCo, recent polls show that I’m not alone in my dislike for the current Bush strategy. According to the polls the MAJORITY of Americans are not convinced that going to war with Iraq at this point and time is acceptable international behavior. Sadly, most of the people opposed to the war won’t be marching tomorrow.
But I’ll be there. I’m going to put on my boots and join the march against the war, along with thousands more in cities all over the country and world. And if you object to what ShrubCo is doing in your name then you should get off your lazy ass and come let your leaders and the rest of the world know how you feel about what the hell is going on.
Here’s a list of currently scheduled protests. Pick one and go.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
