Build Date: Wed Oct 15 08:50:15 2025 UTC
Expensive tequila means you just pay more for your evil.
-- Johnnie Royale
Drill or the Terrorist Have Already Won
2002-04-19 01:36:31
The Oil Companies attempt to gain corporate control to the ANWR through their private governmental subsidiary located that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue failed miserably today as the Oil Barons were unable to even muster a simple majority to get the bill on the floor of the Senate.
I suppose I should be dancing in the streets that the corporate bigwigs won't be ravishing the Northern Alaska for at least the next couple of years, but I'm not. That oil under that plain is just too damn valuable and sooner or later it will be worth so much that the oil companies will be able to afford to buy up both the Republicans and the Democrats, declare a political monopoly and just start drilling whenever and wherever they damn well feel like it.
This country is going to run out of oil. You don't have to a rocket scientist to figure that out. Oil comes from dinosaurs and last I checked all the dinosaurs are gone. So sooner or later we are gonna be soooo desperate for oil we'll be begging the oil companies to drill, drill, drill, drill, just for another drop, "Please, one drop of oil", like some pathetic and tragically doomed heroin addict clambering after his fixes in his final few days on his last and very fatal binge.
I keep hoping that won't happen. That somehow people will start to realize that more oil isn't the answer. That it can't be the answer. We need to figure out how to run a modern economy without oil. And given the massive amount of environmental damage a fossil fuel based economy causes and since we HAVE to do it anyway, it makes sense to do figure out how to live with out oil at the soonest possible point.
And every time I read some Republican oil stooge, shilling about how we need to reduce our dependencies on foreign oil, I want to run up to them and say, "YES, YES, YES, let's reduce our dependency on foreign oil. Let's conserve what we have to make it last as long as possible and massively invest in developing new technologies to replace what we use."
But the Republicans stooges aren't interested in conservation and new energy technology. Conservation is apparently for pussies and new energy technologies might hurt their corporate masters in the pocket book. So the Republicans answer is always DRILL, DRILL, DRILL. They'll scream about how the Arabs are going to use oil as a weapon and destroy us ALL. They'll even claim that any environmentalist that refuses too see the logic in massive drilling is just a Muslim loving nancy boy wimp that would be happy to let the A-rabs walk in a take over the country. Hah. We keep buying oil at the rate we are buying oil and the Arabs and just buy the whole damn country. But that is later, profits must happen now, the money must flow for it is the very lifeblood of the Republican party.
And right now, we import 59% of the oil we use and more holes in Alaska are only going to drop that to 54% or so. Big fucking deal. Where is our freedom? Where is our energy independence the Republican mantra so claims? It ain't there. There is no difference between 59% and 54%. And the Republicans know it. And that's because the Republicans aren't interested in energy independence, they're interested in oil companies profits. Of course, Republicans can't say that they don't care about anything but corporate profits and they have to keep their mouths moving or the Democrats might actually be able to get a word in edgewise, so the Republican just make shit up and keep babbling away. Blah, blah, blah. Drill or the terrorists have already won.
Which is what is so damn depressing. Even after such another blatant attempt by a bunch of ass licking corporate lapdogs and massive hypocrisy employed by the Republicans, the Democrats, even in victory just stand around with stupid expressions on their faces and their slacked jawed mouths hanging open, unable to exploit the gapping holes in the Republicans "logic", while the people of this country continue to slumber in the bliss of an oil bubble and energy clock continues to tick.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS! (More...)