Build Date: Fri Mar 14 03:10:22 2025 UTC
One man said it was getting towards the long days and the short nights now. T'other one said THIS warn't one of the short ones, he reckoned. And then they laughed, and he said it over again, and they laughed again...
-- Mark Twain
Paul Vortex
The result of wild night of very kinky sex in a spaceship by passing Grey frat boys on their way to Sirius Prime for spring break and a captured uptight English school marm with a pension for buggery who happened to be alone on a dark country road at just the wrong time, Paul Vortex continually struggles with the natural conflict of being a human trapped in a space alien's body. Abandoned at birth to be raised by a pack of rabid English wild sheep and schooled in the methods of world domination in the mountains of Argentina by the last remaining bands of escaped Nazis, Paul Vortex brings the perfect mix of English passive-aggressiveness and German "urges" to the world of Gonzo Journalism and Bad People of the Future.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-08-01
Today it emerged that those DUMB BASTARDS in UK Parliament made another Blunder of Big Proportions! They went and bought the wrong vaccine for small pox!
2002-06-21
It would seem that our Planet narrowly escaped a devastating blow on the 14th of June! An asteroid the size of a football pitch broke the Moon's Orbit and passed a mere 120,000 KM from the Earth!!!
2001-11-24
Few can deny the wonder it would be, to kick back on a comfortable chair upon the Moon, to cast gaze over the Earth, rising in the Morning sun.
Offsite links shared by the author
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
