Build Date: Thu Feb 13 08:10:30 2025 UTC
i don't need meds, i just need pretty pigments.
-- rotten elf
Patient Joab
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-01-22
This is not a new link. It is an old link, in need of a little bit more support, folks. It's called "Are You Hot or Not?"
2001-06-08
Does corporate stupidity know no bounds? Recently, AOL Time-Warner purchased Business 2.0, one of those hype-filled new economy rags, to add to its already overgrown, festering pile of fly-fattening media properties.
1999-10-28
So tha folks saw yr tappin' away at the codin' box, and reckoned you'd make more possum hides if you threw all yr meager belongins' on tha truck and hauled yr ass to Sili-kon Valleee. And they were right: you've made out better than Cotton Eye Joe! But, as the old song goes, you got what you wanted but lost what ya had.
1999-06-05
As all you E.T. hunters know by now, Seti@home has just started sending chunks of radio telescope space data out to home computers to scan for messages.
1999-05-23
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs!
1999-01-16
Proof that it's going to take a heap of hillbilly ingenuity to find a good home in the post-apocalyptic/Y2K infowarfare age we're all being flung into. Not content with a mere Mobile home, here's a fella who took a 727 and turned it into a right comfy home dwellin'. Complete with in-depth drawings illustrating the difficulties of getting the damn thing down First Avenue and much more.
1999-01-03
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate!
1998-12-30
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you! In fact, many agencies that you never even HEARD OF are keeping detailed dossiers of your mundane life. And they're using S00PER SEKRIT high-tech to do it!
1998-12-24
Want to learn to converse all scientific, like the Spock Mountain Research Labs beverotologists do? Well, tan my hide!
1998-12-24
Here's something to keep you drooling moronic link-clickers entertained for a while: this compendium of stupid, weird, and disturbing postcards is comprehensive and voluminous. Enjoy your drug.
Offsite links shared by the author
2000-05-17
Robot Frank's page. As my friend April puts it, a kind of pre-futurama Bender in real life. Real Funny, though I'm not sure why.
1999-12-09
1999-12-08
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
